You’ve been waiting for it well here it is! This is how the gaming will work and how the payouts will be broken down. First off we have the Gaming Bundle. (click the picture to enlarge) $135 covers bus, scoring and on course contests for Friday and Saturday.
This needs to be paid to Melling by May 27th, details on how, sent by corresponding email.
2015 introduced a new aspect to your gaming options and “The Calcutta” was established. It appeared to be a rousing success and created some great Thursday night entertainment. We’ll make it happen again Thursday night prior to the start of the President’s Cup in one of the cabins at approximately 1030pm.
We’ll let “The Commissioner of Gaming” give a breakdown of each player, what the rules are and what he believes their Calcutta Value to be.
RULES: The winner of “Player of the Prezzy Cup” (most points accumulated over the weekend) is what you are bidding on. There can be a tie. In that event the money is divided evenly. Minimum bid $20 with betting in $10 increments. You can buy unlimited players and team up to buy players. Golfers have the automatic option to purchase up to 50% of themselves from the owner. Bidding is not mandatory.
Kunza – Most likely to “purchase” 9 players for $1,285, have the winning golfer for $1,100 and put his profit in the middle for the bar tab. Has no chance of being the champion golfer of the year due to his inability to get beauty sleep on Friday night. Calcutta Value – $110, he will overpay for himself by about $200 more than that.
Steel – If this was a running competition, his marathon Calcutta value would be $700. If you like long golf ball searches in the woods and playing from the next fairway, he may be the man of your dreams. Calcutta Value – $90
“Where are my Keys” Mario – Voted most likely to misplace something on the bus ride from Golden Eagle. Dude closes deals for a living, couldn’t even close his trunk up north…… come to think of it, he had no way to open it. Calcutta Value – $60
Karson – All talk, no chalk….small…..? Only thing louder than his pants will be the sounds falling out of his face. True competitor though and if he can convince himself to believe his own hype….could win. Calcutta Value – $170
Sheetz – Solid handicap and always shows up to compete. Will not take a lot of big numbers, he’ll par his opponents to death. Putting is atrocious….don’t give him anything beyond the shadow of his golf ball. Calcutta Value – $150
Brando – Will absolutely look the part, dressing dapper as can be. “Wow, is that guy on tour” onlookers will remark. Without Drew on the trip his babysitting days are in the past. Calcutta value with Drew on the Trip – $20. 2016 Calcutta Value – $180
“Grey’s Anatomy” – This horse was built for power and unfortunately, match play requires finesse and a killer instinct. His ability to make you laugh to death could be his secret weapon. Scramble Calcutta Value – $400.Match Play Calcutta Value – $90
RD – Lock of the century for top 3 or 4. Any St. Cloud player (see Hubert Sheetz), should be heavily bet. It’s like these guys show up with their winter handicaps from The Villages in Orlando. Calcutta Value – $260
Jacobs – What can I say that hasn’t already been said…….everything. Voted most likely to say “what’s 3z4z?” 14 minutes before asking where the nearest ATM is. Calcutta Value – $Unknown
Cat – Ice water in his veins until he has a three footer and proceeds to curl up in the fetal position. Look away…seriously. He will purchase the rights to plenty of you and may avoid a bid on himself. Calcutta Value – $70
Marty “McFly” – Always a great Calcutta pick. He’ll convince you he doesn’t care if he beats you while plotting your complete destruction. Even keel and cool under pressure until you try to bend the bill on his cap, turning him into the incredible hulk. Calcutta Value – $180
“Sweddy” – Always shows up for his tee time and the best teammate you could ask for. Still seeking independent glory and the nearest port-o-potty. Calcutta Value – $40
Bersch – Voted most likely to be pounding heaters on the deck while the Calcutta is occurring. He will feign interest until he pops his head in to bid on players like Sheetz, Karson and Cat. Should save his matches for lighting that money on fire. Calcutta Value – $140
Nokes – Definitely not going to say anything negative about this guy. Saves lives for a living and could murder me with his pinky. Calcutta value is whatever he says it should be and stay the hell out of his way at the breakfast buffet…..oops. Calcutta Value – $80
Blake – What a pile. Young, brash and millennially brutal. I hate to enjoy this dude, but I do and will bid early as often on him. He will not lose a point all weekend. How can you beat someone that couldn’t care less, hits pigs off the tee and makes sows on the green. Calcutta Value – $220
“The Furnace” – See Zac “Sweddy” Edstrom. Maybe the nicest person I have ever met and a karaoke legend. Calcutta Value – $40
TK – Plenty of competition under his belt, although relatively new to the debauchery that is this trip. I worry he will fall in love with that seductress named “Commander Bar and Restaurant”. We will find him on the side of the road, penniless and complaining about “lower, lower back soreness”. Calcutta Value – $70
Horse – I’ll give him one thing, he knows what he is good at and stays in that lane. Arm wrestling value $700. Golf Calcutta Value – $80
Strathman – A bargain with a 6.6 handicap and amazing hair. Shot 73 at Brookview and 85 at Hazeltine, both great scores. Worst card player this side of the Mississippi. Calcutta Value – $130
CJ – tough to beat, impossible to tie getting that many shots. Has the focus of a circus chimp. A really nice, fun to hang out with circus chimp. Calcutta Value – $100
Melling – The veteran. How do you compete when you plan the whole shindig and try to make sure everyone enjoys themselves. It has to be a burden. I’ll bid on him because he has the game and the passion to win. Just quit asking him when the bus leaves or how much this or that costs or where Kunza is when you’re thirsty. Calcutta Value $80
Stew – A player who’s win-loss record is directly correlated to whether or not The Commander has karaoke and rail whiskey. Known for his gravely deep voice, horrifying tee shirts and vivacious showmanship, he is a must purchase in the Calcutta. Calcutta Value $150.
Luke – His golf wardrobe makes Frokjer’s appear tame. Make no mistake about it, Luke is traveling some distance to pummel you and 714 beers. Calcutta Value $120.
Tim – When my name is announced there will be crickets. I’ll buy myself again for $20 and finish 3rd because I finally have an accurate handicap. I’ll fail to win because my focus will be ripping your wallet out of your hands in the table games. I will be well rested and ready…..for poker. Calcutta Value – $90
Fields – Major championship winner and proven competitor. Bring lots of cash and start the bidding. Should finish 2nd to Blake by a half point. Friend to all, enemy of none. Only potential distraction could depend on the quality of the beverage cart staff. Calcutta Value – $210
“Jozef” – Anything could happen…..literally anything. Could win every match, may lose every match. May be eaten by a bear when he wanders off, may cook the bear in his smoker. Absolutely will lose his wallet, pullover and at least one pair of shoes. Calcutta Value – $40
Fitzner – The more I get to know “Fitzy”, the more I have never met him. Apparently GHIN.com needs an introduction as well. Welcome to chaos Timothy. Calcutta Value – $Unknown
E – I once saw the rain wait for this guy to clear the green. A good competitor that seems to show up on his stroke holes. If he leaves his cell phone in the car, he can’t lose. If he is connected to work, wheeling and dealing……que no puede ganar. Calcutta Value – $190
There you have it, $3140 is the expected wager amount on some of the finest athletes and golfers The Prezzy Cup has ever seen. And that isn’t counting two unknowns. So prepare yourself and wallet accordingly.