2016 President’s Gaming Guide (Calcutta Included)

You’ve been waiting for it well here it is!  This is how the gaming will work and how the payouts will be broken down.  First off we have the Gaming Bundle. (click the picture to enlarge)  $135 covers bus, scoring and on course contests for Friday and Saturday.

2016 gambling bundle

This needs to be paid to Melling by May 27th, details on how, sent by corresponding email.

2015 introduced a new aspect to your gaming options and “The Calcutta” was established.  It appeared to be a rousing success and created some great Thursday night entertainment. We’ll make it happen again Thursday night prior to the start of the President’s Cup in one of the cabins at approximately 1030pm.

We’ll let “The Commissioner of Gaming” give a breakdown of each player, what the rules are and what he believes their Calcutta Value to be.

RULES: The winner of “Player of the Prezzy Cup” (most points accumulated over the weekend) is what you are bidding on.  There can be a tie.  In that event the money is divided evenly.  Minimum bid $20 with betting in $10 increments.  You can buy unlimited players and team up to buy players.  Golfers have the automatic option to purchase up to 50% of themselves from the owner.  Bidding is not mandatory.

Kunza – Most likely to “purchase” 9 players for $1,285, have the winning golfer for $1,100 and put his profit in the middle for the bar tab.  Has no chance of being the champion golfer of the year due to his inability to get beauty sleep on Friday night. Calcutta Value – $110, he will overpay for himself by about $200 more than that.

Steel – If this was a running competition, his marathon Calcutta value would be $700.  If you like long golf ball searches in the woods and playing from the next fairway, he may be the man of your dreams. Calcutta Value – $90

“Where are my Keys” Mario –  Voted most likely to misplace something on the bus ride from Golden Eagle.  Dude closes deals for a living, couldn’t even close his trunk up north…… come to think of it, he had no way to open it. Calcutta Value – $60

Karson – All talk, no chalk….small…..?   Only thing louder than his pants will be the sounds falling out of his face.  True competitor though and if he can convince himself to believe his own hype….could win. Calcutta Value – $170

Sheetz – Solid handicap and always shows up to compete.  Will not take a lot of big numbers, he’ll par his opponents to death.  Putting is atrocious….don’t give him anything beyond the shadow of his golf ball. Calcutta Value – $150

Brando – Will absolutely look the part, dressing dapper as can be.   “Wow, is that guy on tour” onlookers will remark.  Without Drew on the trip his babysitting days are in the past.  Calcutta value with Drew on the Trip – $20. 2016 Calcutta Value – $180

“Grey’s Anatomy” – This horse was built for power and unfortunately, match play requires finesse and a killer instinct.  His ability to make you laugh to death could be his secret weapon.  Scramble Calcutta Value – $400.Match Play Calcutta Value – $90

RD – Lock of the century for top 3 or 4.  Any St. Cloud player (see Hubert Sheetz), should be heavily bet.  It’s like these guys show up with their winter handicaps from The Villages in Orlando. Calcutta Value – $260

Jacobs – What can I say that hasn’t already been said…….everything.  Voted most likely to say “what’s 3z4z?” 14 minutes before asking where the nearest ATM is. Calcutta Value – $Unknown

Cat – Ice water in his veins until he has a three footer and proceeds to curl up in the fetal position.  Look away…seriously.  He will purchase the rights to plenty of you and may avoid a bid on himself. Calcutta Value – $70

Marty “McFly” – Always a great Calcutta pick.  He’ll convince you he doesn’t care if he beats you while plotting your complete destruction.  Even keel and cool under pressure until you try to bend the bill on his cap, turning him into the incredible hulk. Calcutta Value – $180

“Sweddy” – Always shows up for his tee time and the best teammate you could ask for.  Still seeking independent glory and the nearest port-o-potty. Calcutta Value – $40

Bersch – Voted most likely to be pounding heaters on the deck while the Calcutta is occurring.  He will feign interest until he pops his head in to bid on players like Sheetz, Karson and Cat.  Should save his matches for lighting that money on fire. Calcutta Value – $140

Nokes – Definitely not going to say anything negative about this guy.  Saves lives for a living and could murder me with his pinky.  Calcutta value is whatever he says it should be and stay the hell out of his way at the breakfast buffet…..oops. Calcutta Value – $80

Blake – What a pile.  Young, brash and millennially brutal.  I hate to enjoy this dude, but I do and will bid early as often on him.  He will not lose a point all weekend.  How can you beat someone that couldn’t care less, hits pigs off the tee and makes sows on the green. Calcutta Value – $220

“The Furnace” – See Zac “Sweddy” Edstrom.  Maybe the nicest person I have ever met and a karaoke legend. Calcutta Value – $40

TK – Plenty of competition under his belt, although relatively new to the debauchery that is this trip.  I worry he will fall in love with that seductress named “Commander Bar and Restaurant”.  We will find him on the side of the road, penniless and complaining about “lower, lower back soreness”. Calcutta Value – $70

Horse – I’ll give him one thing, he knows what he is good at and stays in that lane.  Arm wrestling value $700. Golf Calcutta Value – $80

Strathman – A bargain with a 6.6 handicap and amazing hair.  Shot 73 at Brookview and 85 at Hazeltine, both great scores.  Worst card player this side of the Mississippi. Calcutta Value – $130

CJ – tough to beat, impossible to tie getting that many shots.  Has the focus of a circus chimp.  A really nice, fun to hang out with circus chimp. Calcutta Value – $100

Melling – The veteran.  How do you compete when you plan the whole shindig and try to make sure everyone enjoys themselves.  It has to be a burden.  I’ll bid on him because he has the game and the passion to win.  Just quit asking him when the bus leaves or how much this or that costs or where Kunza is when you’re thirsty. Calcutta Value $80

Stew – A player who’s win-loss record is directly correlated to whether or not The Commander has karaoke and rail whiskey.  Known for his gravely deep voice, horrifying tee shirts and vivacious showmanship, he is a must purchase in the Calcutta. Calcutta Value $150. 

Luke – His golf wardrobe makes Frokjer’s appear tame.  Make no mistake about it, Luke is traveling some distance to pummel you and 714 beers. Calcutta Value $120. 

Tim – When my name is announced there will be crickets.  I’ll buy myself again for $20 and finish 3rd because I finally have an accurate handicap.  I’ll fail to win because my focus will be ripping your wallet out of your hands in the table games.  I will be well rested and ready…..for poker. Calcutta Value – $90

Fields – Major championship winner and proven competitor.  Bring lots of cash and start the bidding.  Should finish 2nd to Blake by a half point.  Friend to all, enemy of none.  Only potential distraction could depend on the quality of the beverage cart staff. Calcutta Value – $210 

“Jozef” – Anything could happen…..literally anything.  Could win every match, may lose every match.  May be eaten by a bear when he wanders off, may cook the bear in his smoker.  Absolutely will lose his wallet, pullover and at least one pair of shoes. Calcutta Value – $40

Fitzner – The more I get to know “Fitzy”, the more I have never met him.  Apparently GHIN.com needs an introduction as well.  Welcome to chaos Timothy. Calcutta Value – $Unknown

E – I once saw the rain wait for this guy to clear the green.  A good competitor that seems to show up on his stroke holes.  If he leaves his cell phone in the car, he can’t lose.  If he is connected to work, wheeling and dealing……que no puede ganar. Calcutta Value – $190 

There you have it, $3140 is the expected wager amount on some of the finest athletes and golfers The Prezzy Cup has ever seen.  And that isn’t counting two unknowns.  So prepare yourself and wallet accordingly.

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Friday June 3rd – Golden Eagle Primer

The President’s Cup Friday will begin as it did in 2014.  A bus will pick us up at the Cabins at Deacon’s Lodge at 745am.  We will be teeing off promptly at 9am at Golden Eagle.  If you for some reason, aren’t staying at the cabins Thursday night these are important times for you to put in your calendar.  Now here for the primer.

This is all probably pretty fresh in your minds but I thought I would throw some Golden Eagle facts and information at you to prepare you for the Day 1 of the 2016 President’s Cup.  For those of you who haven’t played there or did a long time ago this will be beneficial.

We’ll be playing the Gold Tees (it’s Golden Eagle, right).  Measuring 6745 yds, playing to a par 71.

Golden Eagle Golf Club opens with back to back par 5’s.  The first is difficult to reach (570 yds) in 2 but the 2nd (512 yds)can be had.  (click on any of the pictures to make larger)GoldenEagle1and2labeledIt’s a great way start a round, especially in the 2-man scramble match.  You get another par 5 on the 5th hole and follow that up with a uphill 296 yard par 4 that several people have tried to reach off of the tee, not sure anybody has had much of an eagle putt though.GoldenEagle789labeledThen you move on to holes 7-9 which are 2 longer par 4’s (1st and 3rd handicap holes) and a short par 3 that never seems like an easy green to hit.

The difficult back 9 starts with a sharp ass, yes sharp ass, dogleg left long par 4.  We again get back to back par 5’s at holes 14 and 15.  But 14 is no joke at 535 and a 2nd, 3rd or 4th, heck maybe a 7th shot over danger.GoldenEagle16thru18labeled

Then you get to 16 thru 18 where a long par 3 is followed up by 2 long par 4’s (the #2 and #4 handicap holes).  A few morning and afternoon matches will come down to these final holes, I’m pretty sure.

With no beverage carts make sure and use the clubhouse and their coolers liberally because you will need some aiming fluid on the back 9.  On the front 9 you’re near the clubhouse on 2 green and 5 fairway, remember that, it could be vital to 2-man scramble success.

Golden Eagle is a tough test, it can play pretty long (the par 4’s are no joke), but it is fair and offers numerous holes to have a chance at birdie with 5 par 5’s, there are also 5 par 3’s.  It is a great scramble course because of this too.

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Some changes needed to be made

It wouldn’t be a President’s Cup without some “late in the game” changes.

Welte and Witt have informed that they won’t be able to make it.  In a scramble and with good fortune we have been able to find some great people to take their places.  Tim Fitzner and Dave Jacobs have joined The President’s  Cup.  They come highly recommended and are familiar with several of the players.

With Fitzner and Jacobs joining The Rest of the World team a player had to change teams from TROTW to CR/Blaine.  TK has been transferred.  TK is a player that should have been on the CR/Blaine team to begin with, but last year when he joined The President’s Cup TROTW needed a player and he stepped in.  He will be missed by those on TROTW but he is now the enemy so there is no time for pleasantries.

These changes are great and we are so excited to have some new competitors in the 14th playing of The President’s Cup.

We are 35 days away from the 2016 President’s Cup, so play some golf and post those scores.

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Thursday Round

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Typically the Thursday (Steel/Karson) Round is played at a course that isn’t part of “the playing” of The President’s Cup (Giant’s Ridge and The Wilderness, Cragun’s and The Classic, previous Deacon’s trips and The Preserve) you get the point.  Well this year is a little different.  We’ll get a preview of our Saturday Individual Match course by playing Deacon’s Lodge on Thursday.

Deacon's Lodge

We have seven tee times start at 10:20am on Thursday (that’s included with anybody who paid for 2 rounds with their package) And for anybody who wants to play even more golf we have more available (5 tee times) starting 3:30pm for an additional $55.

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Karson does a good job of creating teams and games for the day.  We’ll need to know who is playing in this group by the 16th of May.  Right now we know of 22 people who are playing the Thursday morning round.

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The Drunken Scramble

The Drunken Scramble is one of the un-official parts of The President’s Cup.  Kind of like Tim’s dealing of 3z-4z, Karson’s Friday outfits, EDY’s phenomenal drives and Gres’ empty bottles of Grey Goose.  It typically includes most of the weekends competitors.  There are times when people have to bail on Saturday after the Individual Matches for various reasons.  And there are times when some guys are just flat out golfed out and decide to pass.

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2016 Drunken Scramble Champions

It’s a big deal to most people and one of the favorite things of the weekend for some.  Above is the picture of last years champions.  I remember somebody even saying “yeah Johnny get him a body bag!!!!!!”.  So it gets pretty fierce out there.

The Drunken Scramble has lead to some of the most memorable times as well.  Langer destroying a golf cart (not really though) while telling everybody that “nobody has more fun than me”.  Historic debates on where you can place a putt (fringe, rough, green), a Langer, Tim and Reed doozey.  An infamous Melling swing and miss off the tee.  Epic pick ceremonies that usually leave at least one person feeling horrible about themselves. There are many more that we just can’t get into today.  If you are on the winning team your Drunken Scramble round is usually covered by your winnings as well, which allows you to even spend more money and make it more drunken.

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The golf season is underway

We are under 80 days.  Are you ready?628x471The OH Golf league, which many of you play in, was supposed to kick off this afternoon. With rain in the forecast, people heading to areas in and around Las Vegas for a weekend of soberly sitting around playing cards and watching College B-Ball, and lack of turnout league was cancelled.  It’s okay it’s only March 15th.  We’ll have other days, I hope.

Some of us will be yelling at our golf ball, while others will have to wait a little bit longer.

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We’re under 100 days away

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This is the time of year where things start to heat up, and we’re not just talking about the temperatures outside.  Last week we finalized the teams, now it’s time to look ahead to some important dates.

April 1st – You can start posting your golf scores.*

May 17th – The day that the Friday June 3rd matches will be set.  2-man matches and 2-man scramble.  They will be set the same as the past couple of years.

May 30th – Memorial Day.  Spend some time with your family, you’re going to be gone and in not much communication for a few days coming up.

June 2nd – The Steel/Karson Round primer at Deacon’s Lodge.  Get your taste for the Individual Round match course.  Gambling and gaming encouraged.  7 tee times starting at 12pm.  Let Karson/Steel know if you are going to be there as soon as you know.  Looks like at least 23 of the 28 are planning on playing.

June 3rd – 8am the bus departs the Deacon’s Cabins for our 9am Golden Eagle tee times.

June 3rd – 9:15pm Saturday matches set on bus ride from Golden Eagle to Deacon’s Cabins.

June 4th – 10am Individual Matches commence at Deacon’s Lodge.

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*Everybody needs to have a handicap that can be seen for the 2016 President’s Cup.  No more guessing or estimating or basing things off of what it was 4 years ago.  Also, if you have a golf league handicap and a GHIN handicap but one is more current or a better representation of the golf you actually play, the best handicap will be chosen.  Basically, post every score after you play, if not don’t be upset about what your handicap is.  You can post scores via phone app easily and can also easily get a handicap cap through the OHO Golf League ($35), even if you don’t play in the league much or at all.  Everybody that goes on this trip plays at least 6 rounds of golf a year so just do it and eliminate any issues going forward.  Thanks!

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